I was imprisoned
Literally and metaphorically. In every part of my life. I spent the night in jail. I was trapped in debt. I was held captive by alcohol. Failure seemed to follow me and hold on. I could feel the weight of self-pity and depression want to hold me down.
Imprisonment is not just being physically locked up. It could also mean being mentally, spiritually and financially locked up as well.
But there was still that self-image in me that knew I was capable of more. The reflection I saw on the outside didn’t match what I knew was inside.
Being handcuffed in the back of the police car and spending the night in jail may have been exactly what I needed. I needed to realize that my life was out of control and it needed to stop right then that day. That was it.
I hated what I had become. I was angry. It was nobody’s fault but mine. I did this. But who I’ve become wasn’t who I was made to be. I was lost.
The journey of 1000 miles begins with one single step
I needed to go and find the me that I should be. Not the one I’ve become. Leaving the alcohol behind was a great first step. It allowed me to think clearly, day and night. It’s hard to make good decisions while under the influence. Having a clear mind would help keep me on course.
Having a clear mind is not the easiest thing to do. People resort to drugs and alcohol to escape the realities of life. Realities that are sometimes hard to deal with. However, being inebriated does not allow you to face and solve life’s issues clearly. Being intoxicated may help you temporarily forget about the problems, but it doesn’t make them go away. Actually, it usually gets worse.
Having a clear mind allows me to deal with issues head-on, however bad they may be.
Fighting for my life – my freedom
Making the decision to change the trajectory of my life, was a matter of life or death. I have seen the destruction that irresponsible behavior does to people. I did not want to go down that road anymore. It wouldn’t be that easy to change my direction. I had to fight for it.
The battle was within me. Do I want to be imprisoned by the choices that I make or do I want to be free? The answer is so clear – I want to be free. To fight off mental, physical, spiritual and financial captivity I have to fight a strategic battle.
I became a Freedom Fighter.
The journey is not over. To be continued…